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What about the idea of a sex coach?

I've seen videos where couples engage in the sex act and a couch helps them through issues making for better sex.

I've also recently saw web sites offering sex coaching.
Here's one you may have seen on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT4rGe ... HsTNsLklTw

I've never used any such services.

About 10 years ago I saw a couple sex therapist for one on one talk therapy. I found them ok, but limiting. But mostly validating feelings. Which did not directly help my partner.

I feel that if my partner would been more involved it would have been much better. She did attend a couple individual sessions, where I went to a dozen or so sessions.
The one therapist said, she needed to talk with my wife. I'm not really sure what was said, other than possibly she expressed her frustrations, Which I also did in my sessions. Problem is it never got to any real solutions. So you spend $150 or more to make you feel better about yourself?

Individual therapy is fine but often it ends up validating your feelings rather than teaching you you how to make practical change/solutions that results in better sex.

How weird that would be to have a therapist in the room while the wife and I are doing it, telling us how to do it better. If they aren't feeling any of what's going on, how can they make it better? Doubt I could keep an erection in that situation. Only way I could now is because of the implant.
We watched the Better Sex for Couples videos several years ago. Well, a couple of them anyway. Talk about boring, someone talks about this or that then the next thing it's porn. Didn't make either of us any better, or horny.
I think sex between a couple is something you have to explore together. If either partner is more experienced, learn from them, don't judge. It's whatever makes each other feel good.

ScrewedbyDoctors wrote:In Spain prostitution in not against the law, you can have a very hot young woman for $60.

But is such a woman taking a provider's interest in her client's welfare as a physician or psychiatrist?

Old Guy wrote:How weird that would be to have a therapist in the room while the wife and I are doing it, telling us how to do it better. If they aren't feeling any of what's going on, how can they make it better? Doubt I could keep an erection in that situation.

The idea of sex surrogate was to help men with psychological ED. Not for someone that need help in knowing how to do it.

My thought for a sex coach, not a therapist.
We have coaching for all sorts of things, sports, business and rellationship training
Why not have a coach for guys like me who have limited experience.

My father never talked to me much about "guy stuff". I tend to feel a little embarrassed or awkward in a doctor's office when it comes to "guy stuff". Recently at a dermatologist office I encountered a question about sexuality and it gave three choices. Something like "Heterosexual, Homosexual and Not Sexually Active". I thought it was a bit bizarre set of questions to have at a dermatologist's office. Everything I had to fill out on a tablet computer. Never had to answer such things at other dermatologists in the past.

So for me someone in the form of a "coach", "sexual guide" or medical provider that has the ability to put me at ease would be great. Trouble is surrogates are too expensive, and comparing it to prostitute seems wrong and might give the wrong impression. I'm all for free or covered by insurances. Someone that just enjoys spending time with other men in a mutually enjoyable way would be nice.

AmansinCali:

I also heard the saying "why buy the cow, when the milk is free".

Heard a woman reply, "why buy the pig, for a little sausage".

Sex surrogates should be more widely available and free or just as easily accessible as any other mental health need.Mental health has some stigma, but even worse is the stigma associated with psychosexual problems. It's like taboo or too personal.

For example my PCP has discussed porn addiction with me a little bit. I think it came up during a conversation about my perceived lack of libido/ed talk. I explain it best as I have used porn, but not daily. Therefore I don't get the sense that I am addicted to it. My limited understanding of addiction would be constantly needing it.

Overall I know very little about addiction, but these days in my area all I hear about is drug addiction, alcohol or maybe gambling. Never hear about porn or even sex addictions. Again why is this? Too taboo? I see articles about so called porn addiction on the internet, so I assumed it must be common nowadays. Plus given the fact there is all this NOFAP stuff again on the internet. I asked my PCP if he deals with many patients that struggle with porn. He said no. When he said that, I immediately felt weird for asking. It makes me think he probably thinks I'm a freak now. Maybe I am just freaking out about nothing at all, and maybe the porn addiction articles and NOFAP movement on the internet is all interconnected and part of some weird agenda to give men guilt for masturbating and ejaculating.

PSSDorAmINormal wrote:Sex surrogates should be more widely available and free or just as easily accessible as any other mental health need.Mental health has some stigma, but even worse is the stigma associated with psychosexual problems. It's like taboo or too personal.

For example my PCP has discussed porn addiction with me a little bit. I think it came up during a conversation about my perceived lack of libido/ed talk. I explain it best as I have used porn, but not daily. Therefore I don't get the sense that I am addicted to it. My limited understanding of addiction would be constantly needing it.

Overall I know very little about addiction, but these days in my area all I hear about is drug addiction, alcohol or maybe gambling. Never hear about porn or even sex addictions. Again why is this? Too taboo? I see articles about so called porn addiction on the internet, so I assumed it must be common nowadays. Plus given the fact there is all this NOFAP stuff again on the internet. I asked my PCP if he deals with many patients that struggle with porn. He said no. When he said that, I immediately felt weird for asking. It makes me think he probably thinks I'm a freak now. Maybe I am just freaking out about nothing at all, and maybe the porn addiction articles and NOFAP movement on the internet is all interconnected and part of some weird agenda to give men guilt for masturbating and ejaculating.

Addiction (and it's cousin, habituation) is quite common among many pursuits. Caffiene, gambline (which you mentioned) shopping, exercising (to excess), hoarding, dieting, eating, etc. All manner of activities can become excessive and obligatory to the extent that they interfere with normal living. Some are recognized as various kinds of disorders and some are regarded as benign (by the general population, but sufferers know otherwise). Some are regarded as medical conditions, some as psychologica and some as weakness of character. But to those in the thrall of an addiction, they are real and virtually insurmountable. Some have support grouips and some sufferers are totally on their own and abandoned.

OK, I have described the problem. I do not have a solution other than finding a counsellor who will listen and to whom you can open up to. Even if you have to start with a dog (generally good listeners and will NEVER divulge your secrets)...or writing in a personal diary...or this support group or another.


EDIT WORKAHOLIC! Classic example.

Lost Sheep wrote:Addiction (and it's cousin, habituation) is quite common among many pursuits. Caffiene, gambline (which you mentioned) shopping, exercising (to excess), hoarding, dieting, eating, etc. All manner of activities can become excessive and obligatory to the extent that they interfere with normal living. Some are recognized as various kinds of disorders and some are regarded as benign (by the general population, but sufferers know otherwise). Some are regarded as medical conditions, some as psychologica and some as weakness of character. But to those in the thrall of an addiction, they are real and virtually insurmountable. Some have support grouips and some sufferers are totally on their own and abandoned.

OK, I have described the problem. I do not have a solution other than finding a counsellor who will listen and to whom you can open up to. Even if you have to start with a dog (generally good listeners and will NEVER divulge your secrets)...or writing in a personal diary...or this support group or another.


EDIT WORKAHOLIC! Classic example.

When you explain it like that and list the examples, I guess I can be relieved that I don't seem to have a problem in those areas. I am functional and can navigate daily activities for the most part unless I just get lazy.

PSSDorAmINormal wrote:

Lost Sheep wrote:Addiction (and it's cousin, habituation) is quite common among many pursuits. Caffiene, gambline (which you mentioned) shopping, exercising (to excess), hoarding, dieting, eating, etc. All manner of activities can become excessive and obligatory to the extent that they interfere with normal living. Some are recognized as various kinds of disorders and some are regarded as benign (by the general population, but sufferers know otherwise). Some are regarded as medical conditions, some as psychologica and some as weakness of character. But to those in the thrall of an addiction, they are real and virtually insurmountable. Some have support grouips and some sufferers are totally on their own and abandoned.

OK, I have described the problem. I do not have a solution other than finding a counsellor who will listen and to whom you can open up to. Even if you have to start with a dog (generally good listeners and will NEVER divulge your secrets)...or writing in a personal diary...or this support group or another.


EDIT WORKAHOLIC! Classic example.

When you explain it like that and list the examples, I guess I can be relieved that I don't seem to have a problem in those areas. I am functional and can navigate daily activities for the most part unless I just get lazy.

PSSDorAmINormal wrote: (edited for focus)
For example my PCP has discussed porn addiction with me a little bit. I think it came up during a conversation about my perceived lack of libido/ed talk. I explain it best as I have used porn, but not daily. Therefore I don't get the sense that I am addicted to it. My limited understanding of addiction would be constantly needing it.

Important point: Addiction of any form can cause disruption to one's entire life or can disrupt only a narrow aspect of it. My point is that addiction to sex might not disrupt your entire life, but it it disrupts your ability in sex (or perhaps non-sexual intimacy) it is still a problem that is better to be addressed than ignored.