2 Years Post-Implant, 36 Years Old, No Sexual Desire, Married, and Running Out of Answers

[Annon101]

Hey guys,

I’m posting again because nothing has really changed, and if I’m being honest, this is starting to weigh on me more than ever. I don’t really know how else to say it except that I’m struggling and I don’t know where to turn anymore.

I’m 36 now. I had my implant surgery two years ago when I was 34.

The surgery did ultimately work, but I want to be upfront about something that I didn’t fully explain before. While the end result is mechanically fine, it was not an easy surgery. My surgeon is very experienced and later told me it was one of the most difficult cases he’d done, to the point where he almost gave up during the operation. Despite that, the implant itself works as it should. Erections are there. Sex is physically possible. I can orgasm and ejaculate, and orgasms are still pleasurable. I’ve lost some sensitivity at the base, but I honestly don’t believe that alone explains what I’m dealing with.

The real problem is not physical. It’s desire.

I have no sexual desire at all. No craving. No urge. No horniness.

Before surgery, I was the complete opposite. Even though my dick didn’t fully work back then, I still had sex often. Sex and masturbation were constantly on my mind. I fantasized a lot. I had that very primal male urge, that raw wanting feeling where you just want to tear someone’s clothes off and have sex on the spot. That hunger was always there in the background. It felt natural and automatic. – That’s the exact feeling I miss!

After surgery, that part of me just shut off. Not slowly. Not over time. It was like a switch flipped.

Since then, I don’t really think about sex anymore. I don’t crave it. I don’t get that instinctive, animal urge that I used to have. Sex doesn’t pull at me mentally or physically. I can go long stretches without it, and it barely registers in my head. That is completely foreign to the person I used to be.

I got married after my surgery to a wonderful woman. She’s conventionally attractive, very sexual, and she wants sex. She’s patient and supportive, but this is starting to affect our marriage in ways that are hard to ignore. I carry a lot of guilt because she deserves not just a functioning body, but desire, passion, and energy, and I don’t feel like I’m giving her that.

Just so this doesn’t get misunderstood, I want to be clear about what this is not:
• It’s not erectile dysfunction,
• It’s not an inability to orgasm,
• It’s not a lack of attraction,
• It’s not just stress or a temporary rough patch

I say that last one confidently because I’ve tested it. I’ve taken multiple long breaks from work, including two separate two-month holidays where I was completely removed from stress. During those times, my wife and I traveled and relaxed in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Even then, the desire never came back. Not once.

I’m currently on bupropion, not an SSRI. I was told it shouldn’t hurt my libido and might even help. In my case, it hasn’t helped at all. If anything, I feel more emotionally numb now than I did before. I don’t really feel the antidepressant doing anything really, and my sexual desire is still completely absent.

I’ve seen doctors and had bloodwork done. At one point my testosterone was low, so I was prescribed medication to stimulate my body’s own testosterone production. My levels are now considered normal on paper. According to the numbers, everything should be fine.

But I don’t feel fine.

I’ve read posts here and elsewhere where men say their testosterone levels looked normal, yet TRT completely changed things for them and brought their desire back. That’s where my head is now. I’m seriously considering TRT, but I honestly don’t know if it will help or if I’m just grasping at the last thing left to try.

Another complication is that I currently live in China as a foreigner. I do have access to foreign doctors here, but I trust the medical professionals in my home country far more when it comes to things like depression, ED, and sexual health. There’s still a lot of stigma here, and a strong push toward traditional Chinese medicine, which I personally don’t trust for this specific issue. Because of that, I usually only make medication changes when I go home once or twice a year, which makes progress slow and frustrating.

What’s hardest mentally is the growing feeling that I’m broken. Two years is a long time. I’ve tried patience. I’ve tried therapy, and I’m still in therapy. We’ve done couples counselling. I’ve taken medication. I’ve had tests done. I’ve tried to be proactive instead of just waiting and hoping.

And I’m still here, waking up every day without sexual desire.

When I read through this forum, I see many success stories. Guys are talking about amazing sex lives after their implants. I’m genuinely happy for them, but I don’t see stories like mine. Honestly, I don’t see anyone describing anything remotely like what I’m going through, and that makes me feel incredibly isolated. I feel very alone.

So I’m asking directly, man to man:
• Has anyone here completely lost sexual desire after an implant?
• Has anyone lost that primal urge for sex, not just erections?
• Did TRT help even when bloodwork looked normal?
• Did antidepressants help or make things worse?
• Did desire ever come back after years, not just months?

I’m not really looking for generic encouragement or surface-level advice. I’m looking for real experiences, even if they’re uncomfortable or not hopeful. I am being very vulnerable right now.

I am desperate, but I haven’t given up. I still want to believe there’s a way forward. Right now though, I feel lost, alone, and scared about what this means for my future and my marriage.

If anyone out there has been through something similar or has insight that might help, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Even just knowing I’m not the only one would mean something.

Thanks for reading.

[John Dday]

Have you tried PT-141. I believe it may help in your situation. Sounds like amazing stuff.

[Old Guy]

The only comment I can offer is anti-depressants do affect my libido. I've always been 110% horny, all the time, even after my implant. Then after catching COVID which led to sleep apnea some doctor prescribed me an anti-depressant. It didn't help me sleep any better and I realized my desire for sex had pretty much shut down. It was also giving me headaches, so I quit taking it. About a month later my libido seemed back to near previous levels.

[easymoney]

Have your Dr. check to make sure you did not have a stroke some types of strokes are hard to detect ..I had one in 2022 my 2nd one I found out affected the part of the brain that controls libido .. dr. told me it goes 2 ways like mine lost of sex desire or your hyper sexual and can't control your actions when it comes to sex .. unless you knew me before the stroke you would never know I have had a stroke. It would explain it happening so quickly .. good luck