How to fix your anxiety

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
Flavio
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 4:56 am

How to fix your anxiety

Postby Flavio » Fri May 20, 2022 11:21 am

Anxiety is probably the #1 cause of ED but there is still a lot of prejudice and ignorance on this subject.

Yes, anxiety is a normal biological reaction and it is easily treatable but don't underestimate it: it may have a tremendous impact on your sex life and in my case, I had to battle this curse for decades.

Here's an important tip: if you need to improve your sexual performance, try to remove all anxiety sources from your life, even if they don't seem 'sexual'. Toxic people are the #1 source of anxiety, so remove them from your life ASAP. Your entire life, incl. your sex life and mental health, will improve dramatically.

I speak from personal experience: I cut ties with a couple of toxic family members recently and my life is now pure bliss. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner!

Family is important but your mental health comes first.
Age 40. Psychogenic ED for over 20 years. Current regimen: Udenafil 200 mg, oral phentolamine mesylate 40 mg, Seredyn.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 5168
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Lost Sheep » Fri May 20, 2022 12:37 pm

Flavio wrote:(edited for focus)
I speak from personal experience: I cut ties with a couple of toxic family members recently and my life is now pure bliss. I can't believe I didn't do it sooner!

Family is important but your mental health comes first.

True, true.

Once you have removed sources of conflict/anxiety and you have quite feeding the dysfunctional relationship and healed yourself (close relationship with a toxic person can damage yourself) healing of the relationship is POSSIBLE.

Continuing a relationship with a toxic person is often a stable relationship with no motivation for change (on the part of the toxic person, at least). Changing the dynamic of a relationship can give rise to such motivation (and cutting off is one way to change a dynamic).
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers
Become part of your medical team
Document pre-op penile size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Flavio
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 4:56 am

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Flavio » Mon May 23, 2022 2:15 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:[...]

Continuing a relationship with a toxic person is often a stable relationship with no motivation for change (on the part of the toxic person, at least). Changing the dynamic of a relationship can give rise to such motivation (and cutting off is one way to change a dynamic).



I'm reading this and thinking of the Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard trial. How on earth he managed to put up with that woman for so long is beyond me. Even his kids warned him against her!
Age 40. Psychogenic ED for over 20 years. Current regimen: Udenafil 200 mg, oral phentolamine mesylate 40 mg, Seredyn.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 5168
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon May 23, 2022 4:05 pm

I am also reminded of what I read in my research on clinically defined "Narcissistic personality disorder". Such people, even when you successfully cut off from them keep ties and quite often show up again in one's life. They keep a "stable" of past and future victims. It helps feed their disorder and is a hedge against being narcissistic in a vacuum (which, of course, is painfully distressing to a genuine narcissist).


(It is helpful to remember that a real friend will help you move. A TRUE friend will help you move a body.) This is NOT advice. Just something I heard somewhere.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers
Become part of your medical team
Document pre-op penile size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Martin6469
Posts: 254
Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 12:22 pm
Location: St. Louis, USA

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Martin6469 » Sat Jun 11, 2022 11:59 am

When I was dating in my young single days, I often met unhappy girls whose families were the trouble. So I told them how I hugely improved my life by disowning my parents at the age of twenty, and advised them to do the same, parents, siblings, whomever. They always had trouble doing this - I guess it's a feminine aspect of their lives, but we guys will have no trouble taking Flavio's wise advice.

How has a lifetime of dumping negative acquaintances, "friends," and family members turned out for me? GREAT! :lol:
Age 77 in 2022. On testosterone replacement due to hypothalamus malfunction. (Attention depressed guys: low testosterone is a cause.) Healthy health nut but ED due to getting old. Like to keep enough cardiovascular ability to thrust for 30 min.

Flavio
Posts: 750
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 4:56 am

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Flavio » Sun Jun 19, 2022 3:12 pm

Martin6469 wrote: [...] How has a lifetime of dumping negative acquaintances, "friends," and family members turned out for me? GREAT! :lol:


Well said, I couldn't agree more.

I've wasted so much time and mental health with toxic relatives, today I wish had dumped them sooner.

I have nothing against forgiveness but if you value your mental health, keep bad people away.

One of the reasons why I put up with so much **** for so many years has to do with my Christian beliefs: 'honor thy family' and all that BS.

Guess what? Family are the people that love you and make you feel good, it has nothing to do with biology.
Age 40. Psychogenic ED for over 20 years. Current regimen: Udenafil 200 mg, oral phentolamine mesylate 40 mg, Seredyn.

Whost1997
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2019 12:32 am

Re: How to fix your anxiety

Postby Whost1997 » Tue Jun 21, 2022 11:09 am

1. Take Deep breaths
If you are anxious about something, taking deep breaths can help calm you down and relax you. A simple way to do this is to take three slow breaths, counting them out loud.
2. Meditate
Meditation has been proven to improve mental health and help reduce stress and anxiety. This form of mindfulness meditation involves becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment, focusing your attention on your breathing or a sound.
3. Journaling
Journaling is beneficial in that it helps you explore and express yourself. When writing about what makes you worried or stressed, it allows you to become familiar with those emotions. You may find that your worries eventually diminish and you gain clarity after expressing yourself through journaling.


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