Numbness

[Lost Sheep]

and I don't know if it's the same for you gents but, my wife thinks she is no longer attractive to me.

Larry

There is an easy fix for that.., Get some massage il and start massaging ger feet and work your way up.

Doing the dishes is strangely erotic for many housewives, too. (You doing them, NOT HER!)

Asexual displays of affection work wonders, as do flowers unexpectedly.

Having successfully avoided the institution of marriage for nearly 7 decades I am now qualified to give marital advice to anyone.

Women get a remarkable amount of "warm fuzzy" feelings and a GREAT deal of reassurance of their desirability from just being hugged. I don't explain it, just observe it.

One story I heard is that a man put a note, "I love you." in his wife's shoe when he knew she was going shopping. She did not notice it until the shoe clerk pointed it out to her. She felt attractive, all right.

[FreddyFree]

my wife thinks she is no longer attractive to me.

Larry

Larry, you are absolutely correct. This is the #1 reason I hate having ED. My wife is attractive to me and I would like to jump on her every chance I get, just like I was, when able.

It is that I can't, not that I don't want to.

[Lost Sheep]

my wife thinks she is no longer attractive to me.

Larry

Larry, you are absolutely correct. This is the #1 reason I hate having ED. My wife is attractive to me and I would like to jump on her every chance I get, just like I was, when able.

It is that I can't, not that I don't want to.

Lack of (her man's) performance often hpaffects a woman's self image. And this works both in underperformance and overperformance.

One woman of my acquaintance had sex with a man just drunk enough to beunable to orgasm, but not so drunk as tonot be able to penetrate. His inability to "finish" himself made her TERRIBLY insecure about her desirability.

Go figure.

[Larry10625]

my wife thinks she is no longer attractive to me.

Larry

Larry, you are absolutely correct. This is the #1 reason I hate having ED. My wife is attractive to me and I would like to jump on her every chance I get, just like I was, when able.

It is that I can't, not that I don't want to.

Lack of (her man's) performance often hpaffects a woman's self image. And this works both in underperformance and overperformance.

One woman of my acquaintance had sex with a man just drunk enough to beunable to orgasm, but not so drunk as tonot be able to penetrate. His inability to "finish" himself made her TERRIBLY insecure about her desirability.

Go figure.

all the shit we have to deal with and now, that too...we just can't win.

Larry

[Larry10625]

and I don't know if it's the same for you gents but, my wife thinks she is no longer attractive to me.

Larry

There is an easy fix for that.., Get some massage il and start massaging ger feet and work your way up.

Doing the dishes is strangely erotic for many housewives, too. (You doing them, NOT HER!)

Asexual displays of affection work wonders, as do flowers unexpectedly.

Having successfully avoided the institution of marriage for nearly 7 decades I am now qualified to give marital advice to anyone.

Women get a remarkable amount of "warm fuzzy" feelings and a GREAT deal of reassurance of their desirability from just being hugged. I don't explain it, just observe it.

One story I heard is that a man put a note, "I love you." in his wife's shoe when he knew she was going shopping. She did not notice it until the shoe clerk pointed it out to her. She felt attractive, all right.

Well Sheep;
Since I am on LTD and don't work, I am the housewife and we have an electric dishwasher. I do the flowers thing but I go a step further and send them to her work... she loves that. I can't do the massage thing for very long cause my hands cramp. The note thing is a new idea I will try. The other thing is, without T injections, my libido is not so great so she thinks that if I found her attractive I wouldn't need them. I explain until I'm blue in the face but most times, no luck. Now that she sees the pain I am in again, I tell her that if I weren't attracted to her would I really go through that TWICE???

Larry

[radioradio]

Larry,
Great point about going through this pain TWICE.
Unfortunately, that's a logical point, and I have found that logic doesn't work particularly well when it comes to women and sex.
Bob 2.3.1

[Larry10625]

Larry,
Great point about going through this pain TWICE.
Unfortunately, that's a logical point, and I have found that logic doesn't work particularly well when it comes to women and sex.
Bob 2.3.1

yup

Larry

[Lost Sheep]

Now that she sees the pain I am in again, I tell her that if I weren't attracted to her would I really go through that TWICE???

Larry

The grand gesture certainly has weight and can sway a woman's affections mightily. There is a lot to be said about that.

But consider the drip, drip, drip of the constancy of the innumerable small gestures that you COULD make. Ones that pile upon one another, coming randomly and unexpectedly, surprising your loved one with frequent reminders of your affection and respect for her that inform her of how often you think of her. Such random reminders leave her always wondering where the next one will find her, keeping you on her mind every minute of every day with anticipation. By their very insistence, your presence (and her appreciation of it) will be persistently on her mind.

Submitted for your consideration,

Lost Sheep

Larry,
Great point about going through this pain TWICE.
Unfortunately, that's a logical point, and I have found that logic doesn't work particularly well when it comes to women and sex.
Bob 2.3.1

Yep. That is why the gentle, persistent tug on the emotional underpinnings of the heartstrings is so effective when executed well and with sincerity.

[radioradio]

Lost,
You have terrific insight into relationships.
I had an epiphany a year and a half ago - on our 37th anniversary that changed pretty much everything about how I interact with my wife. There is a constant drip, drip, drip now of my affection. Random acts of appreciation and affirmation. I realized how much I loved her and how poorly and infrequently I let her know that for so many years. It was quite an awakening. She really didn't know how to react. She's come to expect, I think, the "new me". And at times I feel she takes it for granted; but so what?
In spite of the PCa diagnosis, the prostatectomy, the pads, pills, pumps, shots and then implant and now revision -- in spite of all of these, our last year and a half of marriage has been in many regards our best. The epiphany was grounded in the realization that the only thing I have any real chance of controlling in this life is my own behavior -- not anyone else's (like hers...).
I have enjoyed your posts and appreciate your input.
Bob 2.3.1

[Lost Sheep]

Lost,
You have terrific insight into relationships.
Bob 2.3.1

Thank you Bob. I try to think about things and how people view them.

Having successfully avoided the institution of marriage for nearly seven decades I now feel qualified to give advice to anyone on the subject.☺