Getting An Implant Although Wife Has Low Sex Drive?

[LMCatman]

.......

[roninhouston]

Unfortunately getting an implant does not make a bad relationship better. Many of our partners and us, have given up on the intimate side of the relationship. Once intercourse was problematic because their partners have had ED for a long period of time. If one does not find ways to keep the fire in the relationship the desire for intimacy may diminish. We end up living as friends but not as lovers. Of course this is to assume you have eliminated all medical issues that may kill ones sex drive. Partners Counseling maybe an option too.

If you want to pursue rekindling the desire this is good book written for senior partners about health and sex. It recommends ways to revive desire in women and men, putting intimacy back into relationships. It is available in book form, but It is also available in audio on Audible. Audio would allow you and your wife to listen to it together. This book goes beyond "in and out" penetration and discusses many ways to have a sexual life together again. The last chapter sums it up.....Better Now than Than Ever: the Joys of Older-Age Sex

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex by Joan Price
Foreword by Betty Dodson
Chapter 1. The Old Ways Don’t Do It Anymore!
Chapter 2. Reviving Desire
Chapter 3. Sex Toys: Now More Than Ever
Chapter 4. Together yet Alone: Is This My Marriage?
Chapter 5. Talking about Sex
Chapter 6. Off the Beaten Path: Nontraditional Sex Practices and Relationships
Chapter 7. Surviving Divorce, Breakup, Betrayal
Chapter 8. Sex with Myself
Chapter 9. Unlearning Our Upbringing: Women’s Stories
Chapter 10. Unlearning Our Upbringing: Men’s Stories
Chapter 11. When Sex Hurts: Vulvar/Vaginal Pain
Chapter 12. Reclaiming Sexuality After Cancer
Chapter 13. Erectile Dysfunction: What Men Don't Say Out Loud
Chapter 14. Erectile Dysfunction: Women Speak Out
Chapter 15. No Way Back: When Your Partner Has Alzheimer’s Disease
Chapter 16. Death, Grieving . . . and Then What?
Chapter 17. Sensuality for Hire
Chapter 18. DWO: Dating While Old(er)
Chapter 19. Safer Sex—Yes, At Our Age
Chapter 20. Better Now than Than Ever: the Joys of Older-Age Sex

The book ends with "Meet Our Experts", information where you can seek help for all types of senior situations.

Joan's website is http://www.joanprice.com/nakedatourage.html She has several videos there talking about the book and joys of senior sex.

Hopefully you and your wife can rekindle the intimate side of your marriage.

[PFracture]

Should your marriage fail, with an implant you'll find another wife easily. Go ahead

I couldn't have said better. Go for it!

[Electrician]

Cigar 56, I also have wife with low drive married 37 years,I believe mostly due to my years of dealing with ed.Pills ,injection ect. I'M currently 100 plus days out with my new inplant .Wife has made and effort to give it a chance. Last month we ave once per week .But going from 0 to 4 times is lots for her she also needs time to heal .Never thought I'd be happy to settle for once per week .But this week she initiated date night so happy days .The Good of it is if shes not in the mood, I did waste the pills or sit around with wood For hours. Best wishes ,I sure things will work out for you and the wife given time.

[dg_moore]

Unfortunately getting an implant does not make a bad relationship better. Many of our partners and us, have given up on the intimate side of the relationship. Once intercourse was problematic because their partners have had ED for a long period of time. If one does not find ways to keep the fire in the relationship the desire for intimacy may diminish. We end up living as friends but not as lovers. Of course this is to assume you have eliminated all medical issues that may kill ones sex drive.

Living as friends but no longer lovers is not so bad. Far worse is one partner with raging desire and the other with none. I always had a high sex drive, but after my stroke it dropped to zero. My wife's desire was already at zero, so we became compatible once again. Life goes on even without sex. With no desire I don't miss it, and if I happen to think about it the idea really doesn't appeal. I would not have believed that this could happen, but it did. As I've related here before, if a sweet young thing were to say "Would you like some super sex?" I'd say "Thanks. I'll have the soup."

[Cigar56]

Living as friends but no longer lovers is not so bad. Far worse is one partner with raging desire and the other with none. I always had a high sex drive, but after my stroke it dropped to zero. My wife's desire was already at zero, so we became compatible once again. Life goes on even without sex. With no desire I don't miss it, and if I happen to think about it the idea really doesn't appeal. I would not have believed that this could happen, but it did. As I've related here before, if a sweet young thing were to say "Would you like some super sex?" I'd say "Thanks. I'll have the soup."

Well said. I'd never end my marriage because of mismatched sexual appetites. As we both approach retirement, it's not that big a deal. There are workarounds.

[dg_moore]

... I never would have guessed there would be practically no payoff from the surgery but that's my situation. ...I didn't expect however, my wife really had lost interest after being dormant for four or more years. She could have told me in advance but I guess thought I wouldn't have believed her -- and I wouldn't have.

My internist, who's also an old friend, suggested I get an implant, but he cautioned me at the the time that couples who have been asexual for years very often never succeed in getting it on again. As I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, my wife had lost interest in sex and was not interested in the least in the implant. In fact, after I healed I inflated it and suggested she feel it, so she reluctantly poked it with her finger like it was a snake or something. I was 65 at the time, and she was 63, and our sex life had been zero for several years. It is now over 8 years later and nothing has changed.

[KMeister]

My internist, who's also an old friend, suggested I get an implant, but he cautioned me at the the time that couples who have been asexual for years very often never succeed in getting it on again. As I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, my wife had lost interest in sex and was not interested in the least in the implant. In fact, after I healed I inflated it and suggested she feel it, so she reluctantly poked it with her finger like it was a snake or something. I was 65 at the time, and she was 63, and our sex life had been zero for several years. It is now over 8 years later and nothing has changed.

Most likely if nothing has changed in eight years it's not going to. If I recall your previous statements on this matter, you have likewise lost your sex drive, so apparently you and your wife are not "unevenly yoked." Is it your desire that this situation was different?

KMeister

[dg_moore]

My internist, who's also an old friend, suggested I get an implant, but he cautioned me at the the time that couples who have been asexual for years very often never succeed in getting it on again. As I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, my wife had lost interest in sex and was not interested in the least in the implant. In fact, after I healed I inflated it and suggested she feel it, so she reluctantly poked it with her finger like it was a snake or something. I was 65 at the time, and she was 63, and our sex life had been zero for several years. It is now over 8 years later and nothing has changed.

Most likely if nothing has changed in eight years it's not going to. If I recall your previous statements on this matter, you have likewise lost your sex drive, so apparently you and your wife are not "unevenly yoked." Is it your desire that this situation was different?

KMeister

You're right - I had a stroke that wiped out my libido. So we are not, as you say, unevenly yoked - we're doing fine, but sex is no longer part of our lives, which is not all that unusual at our age anyway. I would love to feel young, well and sexual again, but that's not in the cards and I don't spend any time fretting about it.

[psyched123]

If your wife wants a good libido, fortunately, there is help. My wife and I always had an active sex life. However, over the past ten years my wife's libido has progressively waned. We were down to having sex once or twice a week and, even then, her enthusiasm was mostly lacking. We both missed the fun we use to have. When she heard of the new female libido drug, Addyi, she became one of the first patients last fall to get a prescription.

Addyi works on the brain's neurotransmitters that are responsible for sexual interest and it takes a while to work. For my wife, it didn't have much effect for almost four weeks. However, for the past several months her libido has been rising nicely. She is now ushering me into the bedroom everyday. We are back to the high, very fun sexual activity that was the case quite a few years ago and it's absolutely GREAT!

Check out Addyi. It works! When your wife starts dragging you to the bed, you'll be very glad, then, that your ED is no longer a problem. What a great gift to your marriage!