My Journal

[merrix]

Cnidium,

It's not that I don't understand the thing about clubbing and dancing. I'm not that old... I have had (and occasionally still have) my fair share of clubbing and partying and I know exactly what you talk about.
My answer was partly just to make my point to a wider audience than only directly to you, that I think sometimes (well quite often actually) people here have dubious reasons both to get and not to get an implant.

Now you've clearly established that you're not one of them, and you've furthermore put up a very good question about the implant's durability.
It is very much related to the kink discussion above.
You're right that bending a half-inflated bionic dick puts different stress on the implant than in-and-out sex with a fully inflated implant. But even during sex, especially with the woman on top, there will occasionally be deliberate or accidental force bending the penis at the base as well.
And, if you keep a partly inflated penis in your pants, you will not be able to inflate it to a very hard level. At least in my case that would be impossible. I do around 28 pumps for sex. 40 is maximum. 10-15 pumps is enough to raise my dick to 3 o'clock. Already the 10 pumps would be impossible to keep in jeans. The dick just can't be bent sideways or downwards enough at that inflate level.
If I wanted a 'semi' in a pair of jeans, I could probably give it maximum 5-6 pumps.
I think it goes hand in hand. Whatever inflate level you must stop at to keep the dick in your pants is also a level which can withstand the chick's ass grinding to your dick. If it can't withstand the grinding, it can't be tucked away in your jeans either.

So I am pretty sure the answer to your question is yes. The implant can tolerate the grinding/dancing.

[Cnidium]

Hey Pfracture,

I hope you are still able to go out. Ive decided not to for the time being. Instead I just put more time in work, which I can do as much of as I want because I server/bartend at two different restaurants. Im all about resource accruing at the moment. Ive been thinking about an implant for a long time so Ive made sure I can not only afford the surgery, but also take the necessary time off work to heal. If I do get implant surgery, I also want to be fully stocked on the best post-surgery supplements possible, and to have enough money to try somethings like hyberic oxygen therapy, which supposedly helps healing and recovery with a lot of things. I could go out, but right now I feel like it would the same as going to a strip club. What I mean is that it would be a huge tease to get a girl to want to hook up with me just to have to ditch her last second. I feel better reallocating that time to stashing money

I dont have true peyronie's I guess. I dont have an external plaque thats on my tunica. What I have is scarring inside the left cavernosum cylinder at the base.



Hey Merrix,

Thank you so much for being here to provide this information and advice. Im going to continue my alternative therapies over the next 6 months and do some initial contacting with Kramer and Eid. Im also going to reread your entire post and most likely ask you questions that arent answered.

I think the hardest part now is going to be deciding on what is an appropriate level of therapeutic progress that would elicit not having to get an implant. I have come a long way since my injury. In the early days I had urinary incontinence, extreme turtling and hour glassing, chronic pain which I would rate as being a 5/10 virtually 24/7. The incontinence is now gone, the turtling no longer exists unless I am moving vigorously, the hour glassing only occurs when I need to shit really bad, and the pain is virtually non-existent.

The problems that still exist are lack of response to external stimuli, such as I will see a hot chick at work, think about fucking her lights out confidently, but then there is hardly a response in my dick to seeing her and thinking about smashing her. My dick isnt quite as rigid as it use to be when full erect. I think this is due to the wad of intrinsic scar tissue in the base of left cavernosum. I dont find the scarring aestehtically problematic, its not like a typical peyronie's plaque, it just causes a very mild bend and a slight dent in the base which I dont think matters. However, I think this scar tissue does prevent my dick from getting super rigid. Also, I dont have the same overall sensation as I used to. Like jerking off still feels good, but not as good, So I think there has been some mild sensation loss due to the injury, I would probably rate my erection quality at a 5/10. The rating takes in acccount rigidity, how long I can maintain it, and how easily it is achieved form external stimuli (which is still virtually non-existent)


So ya, the question is can I get these remaining issues to be resolved in an appropriate time frame. I wont be in my 20's forever. I need to figure out what is an acceptable level of recovery to forgo getting an implant, and how many more months/years of my life should be lost trying to recover without an implant. I think these questions are the hardest ones for me to answer.

[PFracture]

Just remembered your story again, and chimed in to say i hope things continue to go well with you!

[colorkind]

Merrix- You deserve the title of: Mr. Frank talk..True blunt talk. Please keep it comming. Thank you!

[Donnie1954]

I have an AMS 700 CX and I have a noticeable difference between flaccid 5 inches ( good bulge in pants) and erect almost 7 inches. Longer but not thicker, yet.

[merrix]

11 months update

Things still all well with me (and my dick). Mentally, this whole thing was huge to go through. Nowadays, I barely think about it. It’s just there when I need it.
In terms of size, I think I have reached my final numbers, or at least I am very close to them. The growth I had month to month seems to have come to a halt (which my wife is happy about). I am now around 17.5 cm (6.9”) and 14 cm girth (5.5”).
Flaccid length is 15.5 cm (6.1”). All measurements bone pressed right above the penis to the tip of the glans. Girth measured mid-shaft.
As I said, I am longer than I ever was in my whole life (about 1 cm). I know this sounds like bullshit, and probably hard to believe. But it is what I experience. Then I am not stupid, and I understand this should be impossible. So I am open for other reasons than true growth. Different measurement technique, change in body fat, sclerotherapy making my glans fuller (and longer), my ED in the past never allowing my dick to get into a 100% erection, etc, etc. I personally don't believe in any of those reasons, but I also admit it is very hard to believe it is longer than ever before.

I still can get in the same 40 pumps as the last few months, and I still believe I have better sex when I pump far less than maximum. I used to start out 10 months ago having sex at about 16 pumps (when max was around 30). Then gradually increased my sex-level up to around 32 pumps for a while. Then I decreased it to 30, then 28, now lately I have been doing only 25. Wife prefers the 25 to the ~30, saying it feels more natural, more round, and that it simply is too hard when going for more pumps. That hardness will cause discomfort for her in some positions.
Personally, I think the pleasure is probably maximised for me around 25-27 pumps as well, but mentally it feels better with the 30-32, which creates a very, very hard erection (yes, unnaturally hard). However, physically, the feeling is better with the 25-28 level which gives the penis some flex but is still hard as a natural erection I’d say.
The roundness comes from the natural blood flow in the spongiosum, something that seems to be slightly less when I pump 30+, than when I go for 25-28,

According to my wife, the two most important factors for her among all the variables, are glans engorgement and roundness of the shaft (which also creates girth). The length is totally uninteresting, and if she could choose, I would be a bit shorter since my current length sometimes hurts in positions where I can go very deep. The shaft hardness is also not important, as long as it is hard enough for sex and not bending that is. But if it is too hard, then it sometimes causes discomfort for her, and if the trade off is to give away some on the shaft hardness to increase blood flow (leading to girth, roundness, glans engorgement), then she will make that trade off any day.
So, we have found what works, and we’re both very happy with the erection quality.

I would like to add though, that in my opinion, and in my wife’s opinion too, an implant erection with a hard shaft, but without natural blood flow - is very inferior to one that has the natural blood flow.
I know I am lucky to have a well-working spongiosum and glans, many men getting an implant probably don’t. That is not a show-stopper making the implant route useless. But people should be aware of the fact that if they have lost their complete erection ability, shaft and glans blood flow completely gone, they cannot expect the implant to give them back their normal erections. The implant will fill up the cavernosa. Period. If blood flow no longer exist, then they will have a rock hard shaft, with some degree of ovality to their penis, and a small, soft glans.
This is of course fantastic in comparison to a complete impotence, but not so fantastic compared to a perfect natural erection.

Regarding my measurements mentioned above, I have seen a thread here about implants lengthening (or not) when inflated. Yes, it is true that only the LGX expands in length, and the CX and the Titan does not. But here is my take on this, and again this is my understanding - my layman’s understanding. But so are most of us…
The reason my dick gets longer when inflated and aroused (about 2-2.5 cm, or 0.8-1.0 inches), is due to two reasons. One is the glans engorgement. If I only inflate with no glans engorgement, the difference between flaccid and inflated is only about 1-1.5 cm (0.5”).
That part of the difference, I guess, is because the cylinders buckle a bit when totally deflated. This is not strange, and as a whole, my cylinders are 24 cm long. If they buckle when deflated and allows the penis to retract and compress the cylinders 1 cm, that is only 4% of the total length.
As for the LGX being branded as ’expands in length’ I must say AMS have made a good job fooling people to believe they will get longer dicks with the LGX than with the Titan or the CX.
Since the normal outcome of a well performed surgery with a Titan or a CX is to maintain the length that was there pre-surgery, it would by definition then mean that if the LGX gives longer length than those two, the normal outcome with an LGX would be to get a 1-2 inches longer dick than pre-surgery pill-erection??? Show me one, just one, guy who this happened to. Doesn’t exist.
Hence, the proper way to market the LGX would be to say that it retracts when deflated.
Any implant must be sized as to how long it shall be when inflated. Then the CX and the Titan will stay that size when deflated (except for the small shortening due to the buckling), while the LGX will get a few cm shorter. Which is great if you want a smaller flaccid than erection, but that’s it. If an LGX is sized so that it fills up the complete cavernosa when deflated, where is the 4 cm expansion going to go when inflating? Again, if the LGX can expand the penis 4 cm, then the normal outcome with an LGX would be a +4cm dick compared to before surgery. It isn’t.

I was also a bit amused by reading a quote from Kramer in a thread. In the quote (if not falsified), Kramer says there is a disadvantage with RTEs as they will reduce erection quality, making axial rigidity less than an implant without RTEs. This is what I have said many times that Eid told me, but since this forum is sort of a Kramer fan-club, my anti RTE-theory was dismissed as bullshit by some guys with footlong RTEs and dicks hanging right down even when inflated.
Maybe the anti RTE theory all of a sudden turned into truth now when the K-man said the same thing..?

Furthermore, when reading that quote, another of my Eid-statements was indirectly verified as well, namely that the AMS models have an issue with short tubing to the pump. Kramer said (in the posted quote) that there is a trade off between using RTEs and achieving perfect pump placement. Avoiding RTEs will give better erection quality, but will cause a high pump placement. To get the pump down to an ideal position, one must use RTEs, but then the erection quality must to some degree be sacrificed.
That is one advantage of the Titan. They don’t seem to have this issue with the short tubing, and one can get the best of two worlds. No RTEs and perfect pump placement. However, according to one FT-member, Kramer seems to think that either the older OTR pump or the new Touch pump (was never clarified which of them), has reliability issues and then of course, the choice is not that easy. Either choosing between a soft erection or a high pump, or risking an early revision due to a failed pump... When I talked to Eid, he said he had done 'hundreds' of the new Titan Touch and so far no pump failure. Some problems with jammed valves in the older OTR model though.

What does attract me with the LGX though is that it shrinks when deflated. That will create a more pronounced difference between the flaccid and the erect size, which is good for practical reasons. On the other hand, if that is the advantage, and the drawback is that I’d either have to get lower axial rigidity or a high pump, I’d say fuck the smaller flaccid. Erection quality and pump placement are way more important factors according to me.

Posting a couple of pics again. One of my erection at 28 pumps, which is around the level I use for sex (my max is 40 as said above). I tried to get a horizontal object int the background to show the angle. This pic is without glans engorgement (I am not going to jerk off a bit to get a good pic for you guys…) and hence the size is a bit smaller. About 1-1.5 cm in length and about 0.5 cm in girth compared to when glans is engorged. The foreskin also tightens up when blood filled, now there is a bit of residual foreskin behind the glans as you can see.
The scrotum pic is to show that the pump cannot be seen even from close range when I lift the dick. It sits behind my balls, at the same height as the balls. It depends of course on how high/low the balls are sitting in that moment. There is a variation with temperature, excitement etc.
The flaccid pic is showing my flaccid in the morning after I had sex the day before and just pressed the deflate valve before I went to bed. I did not squeeze the penis and I did not reset or lock the valve by pressing the bulb. I just went to sleep after having pressed the deflate button once. I could possibly squeeze out a tiny little bit from here, but basically my Touch pump works great. Only reason I would squeeze the penis is to speed up the deflation process.

I am also glad that there are a few new guys here at FT who provide detailed journals on their implant process. I am not as active anymore, which is natural as time goes by. After all, it is the same questions popping up again and again, and when one has engaged in the debate as to whether a woman will notice the implant twenty times, the motivation go get involved in that debate for the twenty first time is not that high…
But again, it is great to see that the forum is still very much alive. It will help many, just like it helped me a year ago, and like I hope I have helped many with my revealing story in ’My Journal’.

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[Cnidium]

'I would like to add though, that in my opinion, and in my wife’s opinion too, an implant erection with a hard shaft, but without natural blood flow - is very inferior to one that has the natural blood flow.'

That right there is such an important piece of information.

As I try to reverse my ED and corporal scarring I will need to consider this.

I know I may never undo the scarring in my left corporal body, but I believe I can fix my ED. So the question is, what degree of un-ED is appropriate to not get an implant, and if I do get an implant, what degree of blood flow is good enough to be considered decent natural blood flow.

Merrix, do you still check your PM's on this site from time to time?

[merrix]

'

Merrix, do you still check your PM's on this site from time to time?

Yes I still do. Not as often as before, but at least a couple of times per month. And I always answer them as well.

[Xomanow]

Hey Merrix......glad that your journey has turned out well......we spoke and met almost a year ago (changed my screen name from h.pineapple).....I can't thank you enough for the time, energy, and thought that you put into your journal.....it's The Holy Bible of Droopistan whose capitol city is Limpville and should be a sticky here at Spanktalk.....

Kidding aside, I had in mind to go for the implant at the time we met which was Dec 2015....I wanted to work a year in advance (gathering as much information as possible) and I now have a date for surgery with Dr. Eid for Jan 4 at Lennox Hill Hospital on 77th st. I live on 90th st. so I'm in very close proximity.....as it gets closer to the date I will also start a thread of my experience.....I'm both looking forward and dreading that date but also by the time the warm weather arrives in NY, I'll be ready to get back into action....I look forward to having sex as long as I desire while doing The New York Times crossword puzzle.....as you can surmise, my journal is not going to be so technically oriented as much as my personal observations and experience.....I do have a flair for creative writing (always had) and I hope it will be both informative (according to my experience) and amusing at the same time......

BTW.....if you remove one letter, the "i"....you have "Dr. ED".....sometimes the ironies of life are,...well,....ironic....

All the best.....

[merrix]

Hey Merrix......glad that your journey has turned out well......we spoke and met almost a year ago (changed my screen name from h.pineapple).....I can't thank you enough for the time, energy, and thought that you put into your journal.....it's The Holy Bible of Droopistan whose capitol city is Limpville and should be a sticky here at Spanktalk.....

Kidding aside, I had in mind to go for the implant at the time we met which was Dec 2015....I wanted to work a year in advance (gathering as much information as possible) and I now have a date for surgery with Dr. Eid for Jan 4 at Lennox Hill Hospital on 77th st. I live on 90th st. so I'm in very close proximity.....as it gets closer to the date I will also start a thread of my experience.....I'm both looking forward and dreading that date but also by the time the warm weather arrives in NY, I'll be ready to get back into action....I look forward to having sex as long as I desire while doing The New York Times crossword puzzle.....as you can surmise, my journal is not going to be so technically oriented as much as my personal observations and experience.....I do have a flair for creative writing (always had) and I hope it will be both informative (according to my experience) and amusing at the same time......

BTW.....if you remove one letter, the "i"....you have "Dr. ED".....sometimes the ironies of life are,...well,....ironic....

All the best.....

Thanks for the positive feedback.
And in terms of you and me, I am the grateful one. For other FT readers, I can tell you that during my early shitty painful days in the Manhattan hotel I stayed after surgery, I was in too much pain to get out of the hotel and get some snacks, soft drinks, fruit etc.
Xomanow posted in 'My Journal' that he could get it for me since he lived nearby.
So he did. He got out in pouring December rain and got some snacks for me and came up to my hotel room to deliver.
Amazing!

Glad you came to a decision about the implant. And since you decided to go for it, I am glad you picked Dr. Eid. There are surely a few other top-class docs out there, but he is for sure one of the absolutely best.

All the best in life, good luck with the upcoming surgery, and thanks again for your big heart.