My Journal

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
radioradio
Posts: 1012
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
Location: Philly Burbs

Re: My Journal

Postby radioradio » Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:44 pm

Merrix,

Great post, even for old guys like me. Your journal was an important part of my decision making process and I want to thank you. And thanks for sticking around!

Bob
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.

Jamesmj
Posts: 28
Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:49 am

Re: My Journal

Postby Jamesmj » Tue Apr 17, 2018 4:54 pm

Merrix,

As always, right on the spot.
It is important for young (or not) guys to understand that this procedure is irreversible and final to fix a condition that otherwise has no solution. This is for sure no cosmetic surgery.

The penile implant is the third line of treatment and last resource, as of today, for refractory ED.

When there is no other solution to treat or improve your condition, the decision becomes easier and fears and concerns fade away. Nonetheless, I myself had the same questions and doubts that many expose here. I think it is all part of the process of acceptance until you finally realize that loosing some size, having a more or less oval shape or any other minor changes, are way less important than being able to have sex without worrying about having and maintaining an erection.

As you repeatedly stated, it is of outmost importance to find a doctor that you trust, one who makes this transition as smooth and easy as you can possibly get. A great outcome shall have you worrying less about your new dick and more about how you will finally be enjoying your new sex life. Obviously if you end up with a poor outcome this will only add another layer of shit to your original problem (this explains most the questions and concerns in here, I assume).

Yes, your dick will be different, yes you will need revisions, yes you will not be able to hide at every sex encounter but you will be able to fuck!
James. 38 yo. Lifetime ED. Tried pills, injections, and therapy.
Implanted 03/29/18 Titan 22cm with Dr. Eid

benefitter
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:12 am

Re: My Journal

Postby benefitter » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:34 pm

Thanks for the good post merrix

I always thought that talking about implants previously might bring an awkward situation (especially for young people)

The word "penile implant" seems to give a very artificial and unnatural impression (although it is really natural in practice)

So I think best plan is to hide it for a short term(as you say, hiding it long term seems very hard) and let woman know that there is no big difference between sex with implanted man and with normal guys. And when the proper time comes, tell the truth to them.

What do you think about my plan?
young 20s male, but i think my only option is implant
not good at english

nudist
Posts: 154
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:44 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby nudist » Tue Apr 17, 2018 7:58 pm

benefitter wrote:
The word "penile implant" seems to give a very artificial and unnatural impression (although it is really natural in practice)


use the term "surgical enhancement"
updated: 70 y.o., implanted with titan nov. 3 by Dr. Brady in orlando to correct peyronies. 20 cm with 3 cm RTEs. due to the severity of the peyronies, some internal excisions were made scrotally, recovery will probably take a little longer.

TomW46
Posts: 180
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:52 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby TomW46 » Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:45 pm

Kramer's website says "Dr. Kramer has the world’s highest volume of revisions in the past decade." That can be taken more than one way.
Age 72, wife is 52. 20+1 cm Titan Touch implanted by Dr. Kramer on 18 October 2017. Revision to AMS LGX 21+2 cm on 11 June 2018 by Dr. Carrion at Tampa General. Age-related ED + slight Peyronies bend (left) and slight hourglass in the center.

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:27 am

Echegollen wrote:Hi Merrix,

I don't know if you remember me but I was one of the few who got the sclerotherapy treatment. I had it done at the London Andrology Institute in Austria by Dr. Kuhhas back in February 2016. Like everybody except for 1 (I believe it was razor), this surgery was useless.

Anyways, I really wanted to thank you for all your very descriptive and sometimes very funny updates. It is very generous of you to stick around and share your experience with the rest of us. So many disappear when they got what they want. God bless you for that. I am still not ready to make the jump like you did, but if I do, the information you shared will be priceless. Reading your experience gives me hope that I could dramatically change my sex life if I wanted too, although there is no guarantee that my surgery would be as successful as yours.

I know some places are now offering ''stem cell therapy'' to help with ED. I will have to investigate on the subject...

I am very happy for you and your wife that you are now enjoying a good sex life. It is well deserved after all your efforts!


Hey there

Yes I remember your!.

Well, Razor is actually just recently implanted as well, so whatever his results were, they were not sustainable. As for me, but I took the implant route sooner than he did.

Thanks for the feedback.
Good luck in the future with treating your ED.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: To concerned young guys

Postby merrix » Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:36 am

mr.skin wrote:
merrix wrote:Seems there are questions here on FT from young guys about shortcomings of an implant and that some of the younger guys don’t think older men can relate to their questions, concerns because of different life style and different activities. Working out, contact sports, dating, different sex habits, travelling, different clothes, and you name it....



Merrix, thank you very much for your very detailed answer, which does indeed give a proper insight.

And while I agree with you, that those "minor" things like time to pump, oval/round shape, etc. should not hinder you from doing such an important surgery if you are totally incapable of getting an erection, but to know about this things beforehand and to be well informed is what it makes easier for me to make the decision and to know what to expect.

So I'd like to turn the question around - what are in your opinion the biggest down sides of the implant (even if they are relatively minor - I'd like to know about them)

Best,


Thanks for the feedback.

Totally understand those things are interesting to know. I wanted to know everything before I did the surgery as well. But the decision should not be to not go ahead because of some minor drawbacks which are dwarfed by current ED status.

Good question.

With an easy answer. When having sex with the implant dick, I'd say there is no difference whatsoever with a natural erection. Same feeling, same hardness (if that's wanted. Otherwise can be harder of softer. Customizable...). Same orgasm function. Even better since it never fails, never goes down, not even after orgasm.
In daily life, there is no drawback. I am just as active as before.
But - there is one main drawback. You do not get a spontaneous erection. You need to pump it up. This is acceptable and something that must be done. But of course, it cannot compare to the convenience of a dick that just gets hard the natural way when needed.
Another downside is of course the need for future revisions due to inevitable failures of the implant. I guess I will statistically need to do 2-4 more surgeries in my life. That sucks, but again, so much better than the alternative of living the rest of my life with a crap natural ED dick.

Good luck.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Wed Apr 18, 2018 11:40 am

benefitter wrote:Thanks for the good post merrix

I always thought that talking about implants previously might bring an awkward situation (especially for young people)

The word "penile implant" seems to give a very artificial and unnatural impression (although it is really natural in practice)

So I think best plan is to hide it for a short term(as you say, hiding it long term seems very hard) and let woman know that there is no big difference between sex with implanted man and with normal guys. And when the proper time comes, tell the truth to them.

What do you think about my plan?


Sounds like what I would have done if I was young(er), single and dating with the purpose of finding my future wife. No need to tell first night. As soon as it turns in to a relationship with some potential, I'd tell her.

But you never know 100% sure if you will be able to hide it even during a one-night-stand.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Fri May 04, 2018 1:21 am

I got a couple of PM with good questions. Questions that i thought would interest more people considering an implant. So I will skip the personal introductions and just answer these two guy's questions here.

First set of questions:
Are you happy with the implant so far ? do you have any regrets ? would you do it again knowing what you know now ?
Do you mind sharing how functional were you before the implant and how/why you decided to go for the implant
How do you deal with doubt of knowing the implant is permanent and you cant go back once done ? What if a cure comes next year ? what if we dont like it, etc ?
Is the flaccid an issue at all in your dress in work clothes, swimming clothes, etc ?
Once the catheter is removed any issues peeing while sitting on the toilette or standing up ?
Do you have to use a carry-on urinal for that ?


Am I happy with the implant so far?
Yes I am. It has been beyond my expectations and beyond what I was prepared to settle for. I would say it has been as good as my best-case scenario would have been.

Do I have any regrets?
No. None. Except for maybe the classic one, why didn't I do it sooner. But that is not my style to walk the earth regretting things. I was basically mislead by shitty doctors, and that is the main reason I didn't do it sooner. I was told it is in my head, that my ED was very mild, that pills and a ring should work fine, etc. Once I found out about implant and got a proper diagnosis, I moved as fast as I possibly could. So no regrets.

Would I do it again knowing what I know now?
Absolutely. And the thing is, I wouldn’t have changed one little bit. Doing it with Eid in USA, living in SE Asia, paying it all by myself, paying business tickets, paying 20 nights in a Manhattan hotel, paying 20 days worth of delivery food – it did cost me a fair bit of money. But I would not change to another doc anywhere in the world even I would have gotten it for free and without the travel. When the time comes for a revision for me, I will be with Eid again no matter distance or cost. If he is still around by then.

How functional was I before the surgery?
Semi-functional… I had my ED ever since I was a kid. I have memories of being a child and having long lasting super hard erections. But by the time I started making out with girls, 12 years old, I remember wondering why my dick only got semi hard. So it started somewhere that age.
I could have sex, but not the way I wanted. Mostly I would get enough hard to penetrate, but my window was short. I couldn’t wait and e.g. give oral. Then when time came for penetration, I’d be too soft. Normally that could be helped by getting oral to make it hard, and then move quickly to penetration. When inside I had to keep the pace to stay hard. Changing positions was always very risky.
There was no difference when masturbating. I did get hard by manual action and needed that action to stay hard. Taking a few seconds pause, my erection would turn to a semi.
Basically no morning wood. Only rarely. And then often only very short lasting. My morning wood consisted of a fuller penis, but not a hard penis.
When the pills came, they helped. But they did only improve my ED, not cure it. I still failed now and then and just had to give up the sex act. And I most of the time had to rush through it by keeping constant friction and try to come fast before my crap dick went down.

How/why did I decide to go for the implant?
I did a surgery called sclerotherapy in 2015. Before the surgery, I found a thread here on FT discussing the sclerotherapy. That surgery helped me to improve. Actually, for a few weeks after the surgery I was basically cured. Long story, but basically during those weeks I realized what I had missed. And how shitty my normal erections were. I also had a true heart to heart talk with my wife. I asked her about my erection quality during those weeks, and she said it was normal, like other men she had been with before me. So when asking about my status before the surgery, and how often she had experienced that any of her previous 4-5 lovers ever lost the erection during sex – I got the brutal honest answer I was looking for. It never happened with either of them. Never. Not even once. And that’s when I realized how shitty my ED actually was. It started all sorts of thoughts in my head, and when the results of the sclerotherapy started to fade, I started to feel really bad about my ED for the first time in my life. So I remembered the FT site where I had seen the implant thread before. I came back, started to research implants and three months later I was in New York at Eid’s office, ready for surgery next day.

How do I deal with the doubt of knowing the implant is permanent and that I can’t go back once done?
Now I don’t want to go back, so that’s not an issue. Before surgery, my biggest fear was infection. Even if it only happens <0.5% of times with top surgeons, that is still 1 guy in 200-300. It does happen. It is a tangible risk. We’re not talking 1 in a million. We’re talking 1 in 250.
I was also worried about how it would actually work. What it would feel like. Would the sex be as good as natural, or at least good enough? Would I be hindered in my activities? Would it look natural? Etc, etc.
But I just knew that I was in a spiral which would only go south. I had for some reason been doing ok mentally despite my ED. Maybe because I always had it and hence didn’t know what I was missing. But after that sclerotherapy and those few weeks of normal sexual function, I just knew that I would feel worse and worse about it. I couldn’t let it go.
So I knew I had no choice. I had to take the risk, and it was a risk worth taking. So I just went ahead.

What if a cure comes next year?
Irrelevant. I don’t think that way. If so, nobody could ever do any surgeries. There can always come a better, less invasive method in the future. So what? I have my problems now, I want them fixed now. Not in ten years. Seriously, even if I KNEW that ten years from now, I could get a few magic injections and without any side effects my dick would be perfect, I would have gone ahead anyway. Ten years is a long time. And I wanted my dick to work NOW. While I was still reasonably young. Plus I think another ten years would not have done me good mentally. My belief is that these things take ages. If there was something in the pipeline now, the news would be out. And even then, it would take many, many years before it was available and the technique perfected, studies made on long term side effects etc, etc.

What if I don’t like it?
Tough shit. I definitely didn’t like my ED dick either. As I said, I just decided this was a chance worth taking. I always said to myself before surgery that I am ok even if I get some of the more common issues. If my pump will not be perfectly hidden. If my flaccid will be at a shitty angle, if I struggle to orgasm. That will still be better than what I had. Luckily none of that happened. Results exceeded my expectations.

Is the flaccid an issue at all in my work clothes, swimming clothes, etc?
This is a highly relevant question for me. My work clothes consists of suit pants, slim fit style, with shirt inside pants of course. I live in a condo with the condo pool 2 meters from my terrace and a beach with dozens of beach clubs within biking distance. I 5-6 times per year on holidays in SE Asia to various beach resorts in Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Maldives etc. That means I spend the majority of my leisure time in swimming shorts.
I live in SE Asia, in tropical climate. So if not working or not in the pool or on the beach, I will wear tight street shorts.
So basically every day all the time, my dick is exposed.
But – seriously – my flaccid is no issue at all. Never do I feel it is embarrassing or awkward. My flaccid is huge, about 15 cm and thick. But the thing is that it is too soft to look weird in clothes, even tight clothes. It is only if I give it a few pumps that it looks weird. And a few pumps doesn’t make any bigger at all. It makes it stiffer. And as I said, when it is flaccid and totally deflated, despite the size, it is too soft to look like a semi in my clothes.

Once the catheter was removed, did I have any issues peeing while sitting on the toilet or standing up?
Did I have to use a carry-on urinal for that?
Absolutely. Huge issues. For the first 2 weeks, before I started to cycle at day 13, my angle was basically between 1 and 2 o’clock. That’s nothing that you easily piss with. I used a urinal bottle to piss in while at the hotel after surgery. The only other option was to do it in the shower.
After I started to cycle, my angle was still quite high for several weeks, and pissing was still an issue. I often did it in the sink instead of the toilet. But hey, it will get normal, and it is worth it.
Now my flaccid hangs straight down and pissing is just the same as before. I am only having a longer, thicker, heavier dick to hold.



Next set of questions:

I am VERY interested in your statement that you gained girth and length with the Titan. Can you expound on that?. Do you mean as compared to your pre-op injection (I assume with trimix)? If so, did that injection give you a solid erection for comparison? Also, was your girth and length both a gradual gain or were you at max within the first month or two?

I have stated these numbers in detail in previous posts in this thread. I don’t bother to go back and search those posts now, and I don’t have my data in my laptop available when I write this. So I will use data from my memory. Please double check with my posts above. Any discrepancies, the data above in this thread are the correct ones.

Before surgery, all my life basically, my erect dick was around 16.5 cm 6.5") long. This is the traditional way, measured bone pressed above the penis. Not from the groin, which is another accepted way at FT of measuring a penis.
My girth was 14 cm (5.5") midshaft.
This was when I did get a good erection. Basically measuring while taking a very short break during masturbation. On a bad day, my dick would be thinner and shorter. This was when I got really hard.

Day before surgery, Eid gave me an injection to measure my size. I did not even get really hard, just larger and fuller. So he took my injection-semi and stretched it and measured me to 16 cm (6.3) length and measured my girth to 14 cm (5.5"). I could clearly see the measurement myself. So he told me that he would guarantee me that after surgery I would be at 16 cm (6.3") long and 14 cm (5.5") girth.
I told him that this was not even a proper erection and that I normally was 16.5 cm (6.5").
He said that we both can see that right now it is 16 cm, and that is what he could promise. Maybe I could be longer, but 16 cm (6.3") was his guarantee.
He said he would probably use 22 cm implant, maybe with 1 cm RTE on one side due to my pretty bad curvature, which he by the way thought was mild peronyes.
Right after surgery, my dick was left partially inflated. Don’t know the percentage, but as said, my angle was basically 1 o’clock and it was stiff enough to have sex with.
At that time, a week after surgery, it was only 15 cm (5.9") long. But again, it wasn’t fully inflated. Girth was the same 14 cm (5.5") as my pre surgery erect girth was.
About a month after surgery, after starting cycling, my length was 15.8 cm 6.2") (found my notes!) and girth was down to 13.8 cm (5.4").
Eid was very surprised and said I should be longer since he installed a 24 cm implant (and no RTEs at all, and my curved dick is now almost completely straight) in me and that he measured me to well over 16 cm (6.3") long and 14 cm (5.5") girth during surgery.
The explanation was probably just that I didn’t inflate nearly enough to get that size in the early days. Too sore and to stiff pump bulb.
From then on, my size kept increasing gradually as did the number of pumps I could get in.
6 months after surgery I was 16.9 cm (6.65") long and back to 14 cm (5.5") girth.
At 10 months I was 17.5 cm (6.9") and 14.1 cm (5.55").
By then, most of the growth was done.
Now, 2.5 years after surgery I am 17.8 cm (7") long and 14.3 cm (5.6") girth.
Note that all these data is inflated and aroused. The arousal (i.e. swelling of the glans) adds at least 1 cm length and 0.5 cm girth compared to just inflating without arousal.
So, my length has grown 17.8/16.5-1=8% and my girth has grown 14.3/14-1=2%.
My volume has grown by 13%.
I did cycle regularly around 10 times per week (plus when using it) for anything from 5 minutes to 30 minutes each time during the first 6 months. Then up till 18 months, probably around 5 times per week (plus when using it).
After that, I basically stopped cycling, and only pump for use. Sex or masturbation. Which is around 4 times per week.


OK, done. Long answers. Took me about an hour to do this.
Let us see if I get a warning again from the moderator for spending my time trying to pay back to this site and help people in the same situation I was in 3 years ago. Offering the sort of information that I would like to have received back then.

Good luck!
Last edited by merrix on Fri May 04, 2018 3:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

alibaba
Posts: 3027
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 8:04 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby alibaba » Fri May 04, 2018 1:50 am

Thank you Merrix. From dimension, it looks like your dick is the better looking twin to mine. Cheers buddy. d
LGX 21cm .Milam 01/13/16. Horror; both service and surgical outcome. hated infrapubic installation. Kramer revision 03/01/17. 22cm Titan +1.5cm extender. Those who think their opinion is the only one that matters are a danger to themselves and others.


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