My Journal

[moetheman]

Listen to the wisdom of your elders!! (Just kidding!)

That's hilarious and made my day. Thank you for your wise words sir I just had an email response from Kramer. He suggested waiting for 6 months before going for a revision. He said 6 weeks post-op is just too soon. If Kramer says to wait then I'm perfectly fine with that My wife has always complains that I''m too impatient.... I want everything NOW ... if only life worked that way

[merrix]

Well Watsup, those are words of wisdom, sure.
I sincerely appreciate your long post.
And I can't say you are not right.

It is just that this is a big thing. Or a huge thing. And I can't say what the difference would have been if I was 70 years old and had gotten ED after prostate cancer, but I think I would more easily have accepted the fact of being implanted.
I could maybe think that - Hey, I've had my glory sex days. Then I got cancer and it was about surviving. I did, and that was all that matters. Then ED was the price, and I fix that with an implant which will give my sex life a revival at this respectable age. I am going to outperform any man my age and I have an absolute legitimate and self-justifiable reason why I got the implant. And it was implant or total ED with 100% no chance of any sex whatsoever.
And now I'm not saying that this was your story. I have no idea about that. I was just painting a picture of a scenario completely different to mine to make my point.

That's a quite different situation from being 30-45 and having had ED forever. Never having worked properly. It's harder to accept the fact of having a prosthesis in my penis in this situation.
I think. Of course I can't put myself completely in that other scenario I described, but I think it would be easier mentally to accept it in that scenario.


Anyway, I don't want what I had before, so this is still the way to go. That's what I have set my mind in to.
And as I said before, so far I haven't even started to relish the positive effects of the bionic life. Only the negatives of the immediate post op period.
Pain. More pain. Doubts. Worries about 20 issues which disappears one by one as the healing goes on. Being hindered in daily life by reduced mobility. Having a post op semi-hard 'flaccid'. Etc, etc.
all these issues, I'm sure, will gradually diminish and disappear. But I'm not there yet.

The positives don't materialize till the implant is put to regular pain free use.
And I can't wait till that day. Will that day be today? Wife boarding the last regional flight after her transfer in an hour. She will be home in four hours.
My plan is to skip it and wait another week. Plans have however been changed before. I still get sore when masturbating. So put it to pain free use cannot happen today. Skipping the 'pain free' part and it can happen though.

[alibaba]

merrix, keep in mind that the vagina is a lot softer and more flexible than your hand plus lubed very nicely. restrictions on sex were anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months after each of my 4 hernia repairs. I remember one time well when my wife and I were discussing how hard it was to wait. I was only 2 weeks out and horny as hell as was she. I laid on my back and she lowered herself slowly. Keep in mind, your wife is going to be afraid to hurt you for a while too till you are healed enough she is comfortable enough to ride you like a dirt bike. My wife just went nice and slow and easy and it was fantastic. Great enough we did it every day till the doctor cleared me. Best to you. d

[merrix]

I was horny as hell as was my wife. I laid on my back and she lowered herself slowly. Keep in mind, your wife is going to be afraid to hurt you for a while too till you are healed enough she is comfortable enough to ride you like a dirt bike. My wife just went nice and slow and easy and it was fantastic.

Haha, that's fantastic...
Good to hear from you.
When is the big day?

[alibaba]

Next Wednesday. Wife is nervous as hell, afraid of the travel, afraid something will happen and on the warpath because they called and wanted a $3100 deposit today. I must say I am completely relaxed and other than the weather preventing me from doing the updates to the security system, ready to travel for the pre-surgical testing in Tennessee Monday. For some reason I am always calm before surgeries. Once I have a plan I'm cool.
Glad you are home. Your recovery will pick up speed now. There is a degree of comfort there that no resort can give you. At least it will pick up speed after you catch up some sleep because you will be up hours late the first night your wife is there. You are young yet. You know how it is. You will talk all night. d

[merrix]

Update to the size freaks

To all those reading this and who either are thinking about doing it, or who, just like me, just did it - and worry about size loss.
Let me give you the latest from my side...

Pre op
Length: 16-16.5 cm (normal or perfect erection)
Girth: 14 cm

First cycling (13 days post op), not aroused
Length: 14 cm
Girth: 13.5 cm
Probably I didn't inflate very much due to pain. it was the first time...

16 days post op, aroused
Length: 15 cm
Girth: 14.2 cm

23 days post op, aroused
Length: 15.7 cm
Girth: 14.2 cm

So right now I'm at a length loss of 0.3-0.8 cm (0.1-0.3 inch),
and a girth gain of 0.2 cm (0.1 inch)

And of course, measuring my dick with a ruler down to decimals of a centimeter has pretty bad reliability issues.
I'd say the differences are within the margin of error for measuring. It's not like I measure it with some high-tech laser equipment...

So size is still, and was already from the beginning, a non-issue for me.
But in the name of spreading the information, I'll keep measuring and posting...

[john74]

I must just point out that the reason that there are some "Hallelujah the implant is the solution to all problems and makes life fantastic Amen" posts on this forum is that in some cases it is true. It certainly is in my case, and since the implant last October my wife and I are enjoying the best sex we have ever had in fifty years of marriage. You just need to give it time to heal. I felt a bit glum at three weeks, but now at three months its just like being a teenager again. Hang in there, I'm sure it will come right for you in the end.

[merrix]

Day 24 post op

Update

Of course, despite myself being one day in to a 13 hours jetlag, and my wife a few hours in to a seven hours jetlag and a sleepless night on flight with our kid, and both of us being tired beyond anything normal- and despite myself saying that this is not, for above reasons, and pain reasons, the time for the inauguration, it was bound to happen.

Wisely, we took it very soft and gentle though. I didn't pump nearly full to reduce risk of pain, but it went in nice and easily. Rewinding a few minutes, I can sign up 100% to the early reports from guys with a history of life long ED (e.g. Pockie) who described that they still had ED in their minds the first times.
During the foreplay I gave my wife, I kept thinking "Is it still hard?" And had to touch myself just to make sure several times.
Same thing after penetration. I had some mixed feelings of on one hand forgetting I had the implant and waiting for my VL to announce its ugly face, and one hand thinking that "Is the implant still working, or will I go soft any second?"

I am not going to dwell on the sex itself since this was very soft and gentle.
But sensation was there, maybe slightly less than before, but more than enough to come earlier than I planned. Again a leftover from the dark ages where I learned to never hold back and delay the orgasm when it started to build up, of fear for going soft and not being able to get hard again.
The orgasm was very strong, stronger than most of any of my previous orgasms in my life. I think maybe it is because the dick stays as hard during the whole orgasm as just before. I used to start going soft immediately during or after orgasm before, which kind of interrupts the feeling compared to staying in baseball bat mode. Well since I didn't pump nearly max, this was maybe not BB mode, but close enough to enhance the orgasm.
It was a good thing though to go easy, slow and careful. Learning from Scooter 65, I was aware of the risk of a pain backlash.
And despite my carefulness, I went to sleep with some pain, more than I have for many days.
When waking up next day it was gone though, so a good level of intensity chosen.

More important than the sex debut are the thoughts I've had.
I never had any doubts the sex would be better. I'm still very convinced it will be.
What has mostly made me feeling down lately has been my general feeling of being 'weak'.
I am used to being very active. The strong, healthy guy with the big ego and the strong presence.
Lately I've been physically weak and immobile. Not being able to work out, go out for dinner, play with my child in the pool, work. Nothing. This has messed with my mood more than anything.
Hence I will try to ignore the negative feelings, knowing that my low mood is not really due to the implant itelf, it's rather due to the changes in my current life that the recovery period forces.
It is no point in even trying judge whether this was a super good decision, a good decision, or a poor decision, till I am 100% recovered and back in my normal lifestyle. The negativity I feel now is the same negativity I'd have felt after any surgery (knee, foot, shoulder or implant) - forcing me to inactivity and causing pain, and not specific for the implant.

[Xomanow]

That is a great report....happy for you......

[alibaba]

All will be good in time. You have just taken another step in that direction and it sounded fabulous. Savor every special moment. Combined they are HUGE. Told you it is hard to wait. d