Coconut oil is usually in the organic foods department of a grocery store. What you will usually find, is Spectrum, Organic Coconut Oil, Refined. This is refined and has no coconut smell. It also tends to be quite hard, almost wax-like when cold and can be hard to get out of the jar. At 75 degrees, it is liquid. At a nice, comfortable room temperature, it will be like shortening. This brand and packaging is meant for cooking.
Now, the coconut oil that everyone uses for all the great health benefits, is UNrefined. It will have a slight coconut smell, be smoother, softer, and not get quite so hard. You can get that in most health food stores. Apparently some claim it does, indeed, have amazing properties which the refined oil does not have. For instance, if your wife has yeast infections, unrefined coconut oil helps prevent them. It is also an antifungal, antibacterial - according to
http://www.organicfacts.net/organic-oils/organic-coconut-oil/health-benefits-of-coconut-oil.html. Be wary of these sites, however, their claims are not substantiated beyond anecdotal info. Just glancing at it, I see some statements which I doubt. I have read coconut oil has just the same number of calories as any other fat. That makes sense. This woman claims it has "lesser calories" (LOL - I'm sure she means fewer calories).
Either kind is great for sex, it does not dry out, will not stain sheets, and after sex, there is no clean up. In the morning, it will have absorbed into your skin and disappeared completely. It's great for masturbation too. If you just want to help lube things out a little bit, it works, if you want to be dripping in slick, slippery oil, just add more. It is great in the shower since it seems to get slipperier there but does not wash off.
Either oil is completely ingestible. I do NOT know about coconut oils interaction with sex toys made of latex, silicone, plastic or rubber. I am sure it should not be used with condoms. Give it a try. Women especially seem to love coconut oil. It is warming and does not dry out.