My wife and I have been through ups and downs in sexual desire and convenience. Now she is spending time with the grandkids and frequency suffers (per me.) Thirty-nine years ago we realized our drives were different, and even before marriage. We agreed that she would do her best to satisfy me, even without intercourse, and has kept to the deal. But she also gave me permission to masturbate anytime I needed it and she wasn't keeping up. Our sex life is great, but over the years, about 50% of my orgasms came from masturbation. She enjoys sex tremendously, just not the frequency I like. But our deal stands and we are both happy with it. I usually feel horny most nights and if she is asleep or busy doing something, my pleasure comes in the morning in the shower. RP and ED put our sex life into very low gear for about 2 years, but we are back to our regular pace. Menopause caused some bumps in the road, but we discovered lubrication and we use it every time. We used to keep hand towels under the bed for cleaning up MY mess, but now, with no ejaculate, we use them for wiping away the lubrication afterwards. "Overcome and adapt." Good luck with your extramarital engagements, I went through that phase in my younger years. It worked during a slack period we had when she went back to school for her MBA. She deserves a better man than me, but we are doing fine now.
Aug'15: RP surgery non-nerve-sparing on right side. Pills, vacuum pump, injections: Injections were the best with about 50% success rate. When they were good, they were very, very good. Aug'17: AMS CX 18 cm + 2 cm. Ochsner Hospital, New Orleans, LA