Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?

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thinktank
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Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:56 am

Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby thinktank » Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:31 pm

Question for older guys: 55 and up.

As I approach my 65th, I am trying to hang on to as much of my sexual relationship as I can with my sweetie. She is a great girl and it has been a good ride/trip/journey. Lately I have come to realize that the sensations to my unit in sexual intercourse are not as pleasurable as I can generate in my entire body including my unit when I edge and give attention to other erogenous areas such as my nipples which can be tweaked or stimulated while stroking solo.

So my question to older guys and ALL guys of any age who want to chime in is: Can you give yourself greater pleasure in solo stimulation than you can physically derive from sexual intercourse with your sweetie. Dont get me wrong. I love sex with my sweetie and love the intimacy and I love to hear her moan and see her orgasm. That is still a big part of my life. But truth be known, now in my mid sixties, I can produce more pleasurable sensations making love to my unit ulitilzing added stimulation of other erogenous zones of my body.

Am I alone in this or are there other guys out there who derive more physically intense pleasure from solo work?

I suspect for myself, I need to be on TRT supplementation and that would fire up my Testosterone receptors to feel what I felt in my younger years regarding the sensitivity of my cock in sex with my wife. At this juncture, I know what to stimulate in solo work to make for exquisite sensitivity physically. I enjoy edging without spurting to up my libido to make me more hungry for sex with my wife.

Thanks, men.

barfinkl1
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Location: Woodbridge, VA
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Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby barfinkl1 » Fri Jun 03, 2011 3:16 pm

I understand what you're saying. In my case, my wife doesn't desire sex, so I have to go solo but on occasion, she will assist by rubbing and caressing. But that's about it. So I have bought some devices, if you will, that help me pleasure myself. I have an aneros, and a vibrator and injections. My penis isn't nearly as sensitive as it used to be. I think it's partly due to my diabetes type II, but certainly the prostate cancer surgery helped move that along. So I have to really work at getting any kind of orgasm these days, but when they come, they're terrific, albeit dry. I have come to enjoy anal stimulation even though I don't have a prostate. It would be way better feeling if I did, i'm sure. But I didn't discover anal play until coming to this website. I like edging too...but I don't have the self-discipline to wait days to release that tension. I use injections for therapy mostly, but when I inject, it's nice to have a rod to hold onto when I wank. my nipples have also lost their sensitivity...they used to be pretty good. Now they only get hard when I orgasm, but otherwise, i can barely feel them. I've been trying to awaken all the nerves that have been asleep for 3 years now since my surgery. Hopefully, it'll improve. I wish you well on your journey. I would say you definitely are NOT alone.

Steve
Age 63 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffered ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Had AMS700 LGX implant on 7 Nov 11.

antelope
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Location: Baton Rouge

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby antelope » Fri Jun 03, 2011 5:31 pm

Dear think,

Absolutely, you are not alone. Whether a loss of sensitivtiy is a side effect of ingredients in the pills and the injections or whether a loss of sensitivity is a side effect of whatever ailment caused the ED in the first place, there's substantial evidence, even if anecdotal, that achieving orgasm is not as quick and easy as it once was. The corollary to that fact is that very often a man can get himself off by wanking when sex with a partner just doesn't quite do it. So yes, even though marital intimacy has been restored to me by trimix injections, I still use my hand to finish the job. And on alternate days, you bet! Now, your question seemed to be whether self-pleasuring is more pleasurable than sex. More pleasurable? I don't think so. Still very nice, not better or worse, just different. Hope that helps.

BTW I thought for years that I was the only married man in the universe who continued to jack off. Boy was I wrong. The great cosmic mystery is why, in general, men and women have very differnet sexual needs and desires. I'm going to ask God about that when I get to heaven.

Come to the Chat Room when you have a chance. Best wishes,

Greg
Born 1948, married 1969. BPH & Type II Diabetes at age 35. TURP-2002; Some ED even before that. Cardiac valve surgery-2007. ED from diabetes. Poor results with pills. Started trimix injections in Nov, 2010. Great results from the very beginning.

padreest
Posts: 103
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 4:15 pm

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby padreest » Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:16 pm

I always thought I was one of a few who J'd/O after marriage. I didn't restart until 2n son was born and then not that often until probably 20 urs ago. No one ever talked about it. Do you think that those of us in groups like this are few in number? My wife can't believe I'm normal and she probably never has masturbated. Many think it's an unforgiveable sin. I would like to know how many clergy do it.

thinktank
Posts: 161
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:56 am

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby thinktank » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:52 am

You asked a good question. We men need to respond to what we have read on the net and chime in here in this thread with our answers, opinions, and experiences. We become more of a man the more transparent we become.

I think we men are very similar in our habits. Some men write off sex or anything sexual when the plumbing starts to go. I know men personally who have told me that.

Other men like the ones on this website are fighters and refuse to take a limp noodle approach to a limp noodle.

I think a great percentage, probably 90% and beyond, fall into the fighter category. If we will be honest, we men as we age never lose that thirst and desire for orgasmic feelings coming from our penises.

I think just about 100% of men masturbate as boys. When marriage comes along, men may or may not halt masturbatory activities for a while. But, I believe most men continue the big M as a separate part of their sexuality that brings different but exquisite feelings to thier lives. Most men enjoy the big M as an adjunct to sex with thier wives for release and for another form of sexual pleasure. It is an old and personable freind in their lives.

Age brings on menopause for our wives and probably health problems for both men and women. Men revert to solo play and the big M reemerges in a mans life almost with the same frequency, sans the intensity for most men, as it was when the guy was a teen. Many guys learn to use nipples and anything else to up sensations in an aging dick. We never lose our fascination with our peckers and the joy they bring to our lives. As aging men, we learn to slow the process down and savor the ride and the feelings in our bodies as much as the getting off. I have seen more and more the phrase encouraging men to "Make love to your own body."

As far as clergy, I dont think they are immune from solo play. More and more, I see Christian guys say that solo play without lust just for the enjoyment of the ride and the release is not sin or sinful. I believe that and I heard an extremely well respected preacher/church leader/executive say when asked in a mens conference about masturbation and sin, "It depends where you put your mind." It is entirely possible to think of your wife or the pleasure generated by the big M and not violate the spirit of what the Master was talking about. He made these male bodies and He understands his creation's sexual proclivities.

Just my 2 cents.

hryqwert
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:39 pm

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby hryqwert » Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:59 am

I think you are correct in your thoughts. Well said. JJ
JJ ;)

antelope
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Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:17 am
Location: Baton Rouge

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby antelope » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:12 pm

Yes, very well said.
G
Born 1948, married 1969. BPH & Type II Diabetes at age 35. TURP-2002; Some ED even before that. Cardiac valve surgery-2007. ED from diabetes. Poor results with pills. Started trimix injections in Nov, 2010. Great results from the very beginning.

loumac46
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu May 26, 2011 11:55 am

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby loumac46 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 2:34 pm

I don't know if any of you guys will remember seeing this about 20 or 30 years ago, but as I recall, a medical center at a major university did a survey about male sexuality. They found that 91% of married men still masturbated. They also found that 9% of married men thought their wives would look over their survey before they turned it in.
Lou

limpnoodle
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Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:44 pm

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby limpnoodle » Tue Jun 14, 2011 12:41 pm

Guys; For awhile I thought I was only one with intercourse problem. Most times I don't feel much at all and can can hardly feel climax during intercourse if I even have one. I had blamed it on VED bands being too tight but seems to be also true with pills(when they work) and light band. I will admit sensations had decreased with age but the little robot that removed my prostate did a number on what I feel. Sometimes I can have a great climax with a limpnoodle from a hand job but other times nothing limp or hard. The intensity varies and is unpredictable and this seems to be the case if I am pleasuring myself or with the wife. I have thought about a testosterone supplement might improve things but don't know if I am willing to gamble with any possible stimulation of PCa cells that might be hanging around. Sometimes it is so frustrating I just about quit trying but as one of you stated "we'er fighters" and I am not ready to give up on that part of life.

Limpnoodle

3mtrship

Re: Pleasurable Sensations as We Age: Intercourse vs. Solo

Postby 3mtrship » Tue Jun 14, 2011 6:02 pm

I don't know about the rest of you but this is what happened to us.

Our sex life stopped at my surgery in 05. During the next 90 days I got bowel control back and we played with my limp noodle but no erections. Then radiation started and the mild filling of my penis that had started stopped. It was a double whammy. From that summer till the next my penis did nothing good and I started masterbating regularily late at night when she was asleep. She caught me and we had a big sex talk.

I finally confessed the easy and regular things we did no longer worked. That I needed more and different types of stimulation from her and felt bad because I was having a hard time telling her how much I loved her and asking for what I needed now. I told her I was worried she would leave me.

She confessed she had dismissed many sexual techniques years ago and maybe we should try a few new things to see what happens. One of those things was her masterbating for the first time in over 40 years in front of me. Once she became able to relax and climax alone we realized she now was no longer dependent on me alone to bring her sexual satisfaction. That reduced the pressure on me and my erections started building because I would play with me while she played with herself. Then she started using my penis to play with her. That freed my hands to play with other body parts whether hers or mine. Intercourse was a ways in the future.

I bought a pump about then and we bath, oiled and rubbed for hours. At the same time these things happened we also were aging so some of this may have happened without surgery but rather as a natural human process. We can't tell because we are too close.

Now our sex lives are back to fulfilling but it sure was not easy. Is it the same, NO! it's more work. Is it as often, NO!, less. Are climaxes frequent, YES!, but not as often as we have sex.

Me at 66 and her at 72, are back to embarrasing the kids again for the first time in decades. You know when they roll their eye's and look at the sky and say "Excuse me."

Am I a fighter? I don't know but I will tell you this.

If your sex life is "In The Tank" and you do nothing, your sex life will walk away from you forever. Only you can decide what to do and with whom.

That is my message for this whole group.

Happy Fathers Day

Kind Regards to All, Jim.


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