Libido issues

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?

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sabaone
Posts: 117
Joined: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:21 am
Location: Jerusalem, Israel

Libido issues

Postby sabaone » Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:05 pm

I'm looking for information or places to find some information regarding how to get libido up and going. I have two aspects that are in the way, age and no prostate. It's been a year & 4 months since surgery. I have no spontaneous erections, but I can get then with injections (my doctor gave me a prescription for a bimix. My problem is that I don't get excited, and that doesn't go down well with my wife.

My testosterone level is within the good zone so my doc won't prescribe any testosterone shots, were they to be a solution. Any ideas out there, anyone having or have had this problem and found a solution?

I'd appreciate any assistance.

Thanks

Sabaone
DOB:2/1940; 4 Oct 2011, date of Robotic surgery
Gleason 3+4=7
Cancer confined to one lobe, did not enter capsule

openandhonest
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2013 4:11 pm

Re: Libido issues

Postby openandhonest » Fri Mar 01, 2013 7:02 am

I'm in a similar position in that my libido isn't what it used to be. I know it does reduce over the years anyway, but I can't help thinking that my sexual issues have knocked me psychologically, sometimes into a state where I don't even see myself as a sexual being. Sad to say it like that really. With me it isn't always that way though, instead there's an all or nothing quality about it, where I go through periods of feeling very sexual, but 90% of the time the opposite is true. I'm not entirely sure of what processes are at work behind this to make me feel this way, other than what I've stated.

Peckerwood
Posts: 218
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2011 10:48 am
Location: Woodypecker41@gmail.com

Re: Libido issues

Postby Peckerwood » Fri Mar 01, 2013 8:43 am

You could begin with a blood test for testosterone level. You do not have to see a urologist for this, as your family doctor can provide this test, as well as the therapy.

John

antelope
Posts: 1372
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:17 am
Location: Baton Rouge

Re: Libido issues

Postby antelope » Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:43 am

Be sure and ask the doc to test for "Free Testosterone" levels as well. There is a difference. For a better explanation, look it up. :)

Greg
Born 1948, married 1969. BPH & Type II Diabetes at age 35. TURP-2002; Some ED even before that. Cardiac valve surgery-2007. ED from diabetes. Poor results with pills. Started trimix injections in Nov, 2010. Great results from the very beginning.

Tigerfan53
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:40 am

Re: Libido issues

Postby Tigerfan53 » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:41 pm

I suggest that you try some things that are outside the box for you. An attempt to make the experience more erotic. Perhaps wearing a cock ring for instance, or using a vibrator. Maybe giving and/or receiving a body massage. Doing it somewhere other than the bedroom. Different positions. Watch some porn. Something to increase your arousal or increase your stimulation.

-- Tigerfan

Bjones
Posts: 49
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:27 pm

Re: Libido issues

Postby Bjones » Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:29 pm

The only legal compounds I've taken that boost sex drive or lide of is Yohimbine..problem is it works only half the time and causes bad anxiety and blood pressure spikes

Reggieman
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:17 pm
Location: Central California

Re: Libido issues

Postby Reggieman » Fri Jan 12, 2018 4:58 pm

Postby sabaone » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:05 am

I'm looking for information or places to find some information regarding how to get libido up and going. I have two aspects that are in the way, age and no prostate. It's been a year & 4 months since surgery. I have no spontaneous erections, but I can get then with injections (my doctor gave me a prescription for a bimix. My problem is that I don't get excited, and that doesn't go down well with my wife.

My testosterone level is within the good zone so my doc won't prescribe any testosterone shots, were they to be a solution. Any ideas out there, anyone having or have had this problem and found a solution?



I hear you talking sabaone! Its been the same for me. I have lost penis sensitivity too. I am 1 1/2+ years out from my RP at UCSF. Part of the problem with my libido loss (I think) is my brain is telling me why bother to get aroused as the orgasm is not happening and I will just be disappointed anyway. I get great erections with Bimix but the penis is just not very sensitive. When I masturbate the sexual tension barely builds (around 2 on a scale of 10) before the tensions just fades away. Sometimes I just get the feeling everything is just over and further stroking is a waste of time. It is so disheartening. I find that my electro-stim machine no longer does the job either. Laying in bed with my sexy wife doesn't arouse me as my libido just won't kick in.

She is very conservative and doesn't want to experiment with toys of positions or try to do anything that I might find being sexy like teasing, etc. I love giving her oral but now claims she hates it (when we were dating she had not problem with it). Her libido is very low and she has no understanding what its like to be a male when it comes to sex. She goes along with me in my efforts to find a solution as long as it doesn't inconvenience her or causes her to try something new.

1st test showed I had low T. 2nd & 3rd test showed I was mid-range normal so the doc decided against giving me low T therapy. Then he prescribed a nasal spray of Oxytocin (not Oxycontin the pain killer). That failed to do anything (I've since read that that treatment has been debunked). Next my Estradiol (Estrogen) was found to be high. Testosterone was converting too much into Estrogen. Now for a month I have been taking a blocker to stop some of the conversion in hopes my T will get boosted. So far I feel no change.

In another topic I read that one needs to retrain one's penis by using a Fleshlight The theory being that the brain needs to learn to be more sensitive to the more sublime sensations obtained from the Fleshlight as opposed to the harsher ones produced by one's hand during masturbation. I have not been a super jerker so I don't know if this applies to me or not. I bought a Fleshligtht to try out the theory as I have nothing to loose but $60.

I tried to explain to my wife that there are certain things that she can do or participate in that tended in the past to turn me on but she will have none or it. When we married I asked her to wear sexy nighties but she exclaimed that it made her feel humiliated. She later relented and I bought her couple which she wears (16 years old now) but she refuses to let me buy any new ones. She won't have a honest discussion with me about her likes and dislikes and I can't get into her head as to why she is so conservative (as in Victorian). It's more than just a very low libido.

So what I am taking a long time to say is that she is little help in me getting aroused. And, I am making little or no progress with my libido and sensitivity problem.
Last edited by Reggieman on Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Retired. R.P. June 2016 at UCSF. Bilateral nerve sparing robotic surgery. Use .15cc of Bimix twice weekly. Still have some incontinence and not improving. Other side effects: anorgasmia & decreased penis sensitivity.

Reggieman
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:17 pm
Location: Central California

Re: Libido issues

Postby Reggieman » Fri Jan 12, 2018 7:47 pm

Just tried the Fleshlight Wonder Wave and achieved a minimal orgasm. Of course, I used a porn video that I particularly like. That gave me audio and visual stimulation to aid my progress. The toy by itself probably would not have been enough for an orgasm. I'm about 5.5 inches in length (girth ?) and found the Wonder Wave a little loose so I put a couple rubber bands around the top of the insert to reduce the circumference. It took a while and the video was 29 minutes. I twisted and turned it for different sensation's (a different insert would probably enhance the effect). Heating it first in warm water helped simulate vaginal sex and it was more like a vagina than my hand but not exactly like a vagina (it has been years since I was in an actual tight or form fitting vagina) so I am testing my old memory.

I found this test less stressful than sex with my wife as I wasn't flooded with expectations of failure and doom. And, in the video the woman was engaging in the types of sex I like but my wife doesn't and the woman was obviously enjoying it. FYI: These were not professional actors but instead a guy and his wife who get off recording themselves having sex then uploading it to the internet. Professionals are a big turn off for me. Sorry.

I will try again next week following the plan for retraining ones penis (death grip syndrome).

Hope this info is of some use to someone.
Retired. R.P. June 2016 at UCSF. Bilateral nerve sparing robotic surgery. Use .15cc of Bimix twice weekly. Still have some incontinence and not improving. Other side effects: anorgasmia & decreased penis sensitivity.

ShopMan
Posts: 355
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:33 am

Re: Libido issues

Postby ShopMan » Tue Jan 23, 2018 8:22 pm

Reggieman wrote:
Postby sabaone » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:05 am

I'm looking for information or places to find some information regarding how to get libido up and going. I have two aspects that are in the way, age and no prostate. It's been a year & 4 months since surgery. I have no spontaneous erections, but I can get then with injections (my doctor gave me a prescription for a bimix. My problem is that I don't get excited, and that doesn't go down well with my wife.

My testosterone level is within the good zone so my doc won't prescribe any testosterone shots, were they to be a solution. Any ideas out there, anyone having or have had this problem and found a solution?



I hear you talking sabaone! Its been the same for me. I have lost penis sensitivity too. I am 1 1/2+ years out from my RP at UCSF. Part of the problem with my libido loss (I think) is my brain is telling me why bother to get aroused as the orgasm is not happening and I will just be disappointed anyway. I get great erections with Bimix but the penis is just not very sensitive. When I masturbate the sexual tension barely builds (around 2 on a scale of 10) before the tensions just fades away. Sometimes I just get the feeling everything is just over and further stroking is a waste of time. It is so disheartening. I find that my electro-stim machine no longer does the job either. Laying in bed with my sexy wife doesn't arouse me as my libido just won't kick in.

She is very conservative and doesn't want to experiment with toys of positions or try to do anything that I might find being sexy like teasing, etc. I love giving her oral but now claims she hates it (when we were dating she had not problem with it). Her libido is very low and she has no understanding what its like to be a male when it comes to sex. She goes along with me in my efforts to find a solution as long as it doesn't inconvenience her or causes her to try something new.

1st test showed I had low T. 2nd & 3rd test showed I was mid-range normal so the doc decided against giving me low T therapy. Then he prescribed a nasal spray of Oxytocin (not Oxytocin the pain killer). That failed to do anything (I've since read that that treatment has been debunked). Next my Estradiol (Estrogen) was found to be high. Testosterone was converting too much into Estrogen. Now for a month I have been taking a blocker to stop some of the conversion in hopes my T will get boosted. So far I feel no change.

In another topic I read that one needs to retrain one's penis by using a Fleshlight The theory being that the brain needs to learn to be more sensitive to the more sublime sensations obtained from the Fleshlight as opposed to the harsher ones produced by one's hand during masturbation. I have not been a super jerker so I don't know if this applies to me or not. I bought a Fleshligtht to try out the theory as I have nothing to loose but $60.

I tried to explain to my wife that there are certain things that she can do or participate in that tended in the past to turn me on but she will have none or it. When we married I asked her to wear sexy nighties but she exclaimed that it made her feel humiliated. She later relented and I bought her couple which she wears (16 years old now) but she refuses to let me buy any new ones. She won't have a honest discussion with me about her likes and dislikes and I can't get into her head as to why she is so conservative (as in Victorian). It's more than just a very low libido.

So what I am taking a long time to say is that she is little help in me getting aroused. And, I am making little or no progress with my libido and sensitivity problem.


Sounds to me like we married sisters.
80 yrs. Married 60 years. Hypertension but under control with meds.

ED since 1995. Viagra then switched to Cialis. Both quit working.
Was on Trimix. Tri-Mix quit working. Implanted by Dr. Novak Grand Rapids, Mi 12/16/2014 AMS LGX

Reggieman
Posts: 109
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:17 pm
Location: Central California

Re: Libido issues

Postby Reggieman » Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:41 pm

1st test showed I had low T. 2nd & 3rd test showed I was mid-range normal so the doc decided against giving me low T therapy. Then he prescribed a nasal spray of Oxytocin (not Oxycontin the pain killer). That failed to do anything (I've since read that that treatment has been debunked). Next my Estradiol (Estrogen) was found to be high. Testosterone was converting too much into Estrogen. Now for a month I have been taking a blocker to stop some of the conversion in hopes my T will get boosted. So far I feel no change
.

Saw my UCSF Uro yesterday. He wanted to know if my libido changed since taking a aromatase inhibitor ( Anastrozole 1mg) for the last month. I told him I haven't noticed a change yet. I am having my Testosterone, Prolactin, Estradiol checked again to see if a change shows up in the lab work.

He suggested we may try an off label drug called Cabergoline in the future once the lab work comes in. It has had some success in treating Anorgamia (inability to orgasm).

In mean time, he and we (wife too) agreed I need to find a sex counselor or marriage counselor who is experienced in treating prostate cancer survivors. Although I am not depressed I am mad as hell all the time due to my frustrations and I don't want to spend my life angry. It will help my wife too, I hope, as a counselor may be able to do a better job than I in explaining to her what I am going through.
Retired. R.P. June 2016 at UCSF. Bilateral nerve sparing robotic surgery. Use .15cc of Bimix twice weekly. Still have some incontinence and not improving. Other side effects: anorgasmia & decreased penis sensitivity.


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